What comes after Next?

Life has been slow, really, I am beginning to feel the lack-of-not-doing-anything coming to me again. Normally they come once a while, but this time round, they are like coming to me constantly. Like black arrows of uncertainty...the need to excite me all over again. What comes after next?

For the past couple of months, I have been attending numerous weddings, friends and relatives. Wonderful, hooray, yahoo and yippee dandy...going to wedding celebration is not the same as going to gigs I supposed. But still weddings are weddings, smiling faces and spectacular deco. But what comes after next?

I have written a few words to a couple of new songs in my head, but I still have this fear of playing with an instrument in public, the fear of screwing up the chords and trying to cover up with my singing. Not that as if I am a good singer, I have been performing as a singer, or maybe I am a private investigator. I have been trying my best to keep positive about things in life, but no, negativity seems to be an overwhelming reaction to many of my thoughts. Maybe I am starting to become cynical about everything around me, I start to ponder about this complicated existence.

Let's get up and dance, do something...kill these lazy bones, find the youth in my nerve system. Let's start all over again before we surrender....smear my impulse...please...